Little pups and little babies bring a smile to even the most jaded.
It’s the abandon with which they frolic and gurgle that strikes a forgotten chord in most adults.
When did you last smile at a baby?
Que Sera Sera
Prayers work..
I’ve been a kind of a sceptic about religious faith that involved frantic praying and bargaining since the time I rationalised that prayer that comes true is nothing but pure crystallized desire. Whatever one truly desires with a single pointed desire comes to be simply because the focus is unwavering and the conscious unerringly picks up the right frequencies to make the desire come true.
I’ve had various instances of things that I really want, happen. Just like that. It’s like they would come walking to me without my having had to do anything about it. Like the recent job I got. It meets all my criteria to the T. Spooky at times. However, this time around, I also believe it has to do with prayers of other people for me. Especially my mom.
As for me, I’m scared to wish for anything or pray for anything specific. I also know from painful experience that one needs to be careful of what one asks for. Sometimes, you just get it. So, I’ve sort of been very non-specific about desiring stuff in my life. I wish for things to happen as they are meant to be. Que sera sera.
I’ve been a kind of a sceptic about religious faith that involved frantic praying and bargaining since the time I rationalised that prayer that comes true is nothing but pure crystallized desire. Whatever one truly desires with a single pointed desire comes to be simply because the focus is unwavering and the conscious unerringly picks up the right frequencies to make the desire come true.
I’ve had various instances of things that I really want, happen. Just like that. It’s like they would come walking to me without my having had to do anything about it. Like the recent job I got. It meets all my criteria to the T. Spooky at times. However, this time around, I also believe it has to do with prayers of other people for me. Especially my mom.
As for me, I’m scared to wish for anything or pray for anything specific. I also know from painful experience that one needs to be careful of what one asks for. Sometimes, you just get it. So, I’ve sort of been very non-specific about desiring stuff in my life. I wish for things to happen as they are meant to be. Que sera sera.
growing older is not necessarily growing wiser
I wonder why life gets progressively difficult as I get older. Somehow, I thought the older one got, the more wisdom one acquired. Here, I find myself woefully ignorant to answer life’s questions. They’re usually about the mundane and ordinary but I can get it complicated till the question becomes a complicated problem, seemingly larger than life. In reality, it doesn’t even actually exist in the real world. It’s all in the mind, that wily, indescribable framework through which all my feelings originate and play their course.
hidden writer
Writing is a release. I've recently started to write again with baby steps. unsure of whether the thoughts will flow. Somewhere, in the roar of life, my inner calling of writing became a faint whisper until finally even the echo died out. Only the memory remained.
Somehow this blog is an inner journey to find my voice.
Somehow this blog is an inner journey to find my voice.
Exploring the Mind
I steal a few solitary moments when no one is looking or when everyone happens to be away or busy doing something. That’s the time, I can lend wings to my mind. It’s funny how we all talk about our minds but do not have a clue as to where it is located. Is it within the physical body or is it part of the ether that we all tune into depending on our frequencies? It’s the single most important equipment of our daily lives but no one has been able to figure out where it rests. It’s responsible for all of our emotions and reactions. But where in the world is it? And I guess when I finally figure out where it is, it really wouldn’t matter.
Living with Parkinson's Disease
My father-in-law is in the final stages of Parkinson’s Disease and no one knows how long he will continue suffering.
This morning, I was sitting near him and I felt a deep sense of grieving at the fragile nature of our joys and lives. On one side there was a picture of my two children, taken when the younger one was just born and I remembered how happy life was at that point. My dad in law was still suffering from PD but he was mobile and managed to do his tasks by himself, albeit slowly.
Today, he is bedridden, fed mashed or pureed food, cannot shut his eyes when they are open and cannot open them when they are shut. He has great difficulty swallowing and breathing and yet the body continues to live. Thankfully, today we are in a position to have a full time nurse for him who takes care of him. The guy is really very caring as far as taking care of Anna goes (that’s what we call my father in law). I doubt if any of us could have cared for him as much so patiently.
If it hurts me so much to see his silent suffering, I wonder how much more it must be for his wife, Amma as we fondly call her. She is deprived of a companion in her old age. After all, although we are there and the children make enough noise, he has been her partner for so long; it must be akin to watching part of her die. Most days, she feels the pain and comes and talks about it. All I can do is offer a patient ear as there is no other alternative. She is old herself and does not have the energy at times to do stuff for him and it frustrates her.
Old age and illness- I can see why Siddharth became Buddha…
This morning, I was sitting near him and I felt a deep sense of grieving at the fragile nature of our joys and lives. On one side there was a picture of my two children, taken when the younger one was just born and I remembered how happy life was at that point. My dad in law was still suffering from PD but he was mobile and managed to do his tasks by himself, albeit slowly.
Today, he is bedridden, fed mashed or pureed food, cannot shut his eyes when they are open and cannot open them when they are shut. He has great difficulty swallowing and breathing and yet the body continues to live. Thankfully, today we are in a position to have a full time nurse for him who takes care of him. The guy is really very caring as far as taking care of Anna goes (that’s what we call my father in law). I doubt if any of us could have cared for him as much so patiently.
If it hurts me so much to see his silent suffering, I wonder how much more it must be for his wife, Amma as we fondly call her. She is deprived of a companion in her old age. After all, although we are there and the children make enough noise, he has been her partner for so long; it must be akin to watching part of her die. Most days, she feels the pain and comes and talks about it. All I can do is offer a patient ear as there is no other alternative. She is old herself and does not have the energy at times to do stuff for him and it frustrates her.
Old age and illness- I can see why Siddharth became Buddha…
Water water everywhere but where?
Water as one of the elements is held as sacred, purifying rites and rituals, one’s physical self and symbolic of mental and intellectual cleansing.
At one point in our collective history, water was naturally recycled as people tapped into nature for their needs. Well water that was used to drink and cook. There were no fancy flushes and showers. I remember bathing in the rain in my dad’s ancestral home or going to the river. There was no bathroom there. For morning ablutions, there was a makeshift shed which was nothing more than a hole in the ground. And everything was fine. There was never a shortage of water. Everything was in harmony.
Fast forward to our present day and everything is synthesised. And somewhere as a race, we are getting more conscious of the wisdom of our ancestors and going organic and looking at natural remedies. In this context, I can understand the horror of using chlorine when there are other options available. But what is a viable solution. Any innovators out there?
At one point in our collective history, water was naturally recycled as people tapped into nature for their needs. Well water that was used to drink and cook. There were no fancy flushes and showers. I remember bathing in the rain in my dad’s ancestral home or going to the river. There was no bathroom there. For morning ablutions, there was a makeshift shed which was nothing more than a hole in the ground. And everything was fine. There was never a shortage of water. Everything was in harmony.
Fast forward to our present day and everything is synthesised. And somewhere as a race, we are getting more conscious of the wisdom of our ancestors and going organic and looking at natural remedies. In this context, I can understand the horror of using chlorine when there are other options available. But what is a viable solution. Any innovators out there?
Summer desires
It's perfect weather for the beach these days. Blue skies, white marshmallow clouds, cheerful green leaves waving at the honking traffic.
Makes me want to head for the beach, slip into the waves and feel the salty spray on my face.
Just thinking about it makes me taste the salt.
Makes me want to head for the beach, slip into the waves and feel the salty spray on my face.
Just thinking about it makes me taste the salt.
A journey in progress
I guess my conscious journey began sometime during my rebellious teen years. It was a period of mutiny against the religion of my birth, my parents, the system, in short everything outside of me. Without really understanding or knowing, I reverted to a pagan belief of being one with the universe. It wasn’t something I consciously went after but something that sprung from the inside. On the outside, I lived a life of indiscipline. Back then, I used to write whenever I felt my emotions were going to burst out of me and when I look back, they were mostly to do with the elements, the mindscape and peace.
It’s almost half my life ago that this journey commenced and it’s been arduous, backsliding at times, hugely rewarding and intensely personal. I believe that we instinctively know the path and the method, if only we listen to the inner divine. I’ve been surprised a lot of times with coming across lines from various texts that indicate similar practices. It’s like learning to swim instinctively. I don’t claim to be a very disciplined or perfect seeker. I go through rebellion even today where I just stop doing the stuff that makes it worthwhile and get to the point where the misery is too much. And it goes on, the cycle of falling and getting up.
It’s almost half my life ago that this journey commenced and it’s been arduous, backsliding at times, hugely rewarding and intensely personal. I believe that we instinctively know the path and the method, if only we listen to the inner divine. I’ve been surprised a lot of times with coming across lines from various texts that indicate similar practices. It’s like learning to swim instinctively. I don’t claim to be a very disciplined or perfect seeker. I go through rebellion even today where I just stop doing the stuff that makes it worthwhile and get to the point where the misery is too much. And it goes on, the cycle of falling and getting up.
In the Moment
The moment is the fullest one can get out of life
A moment experienced in totality is meditation
the fulfilment of the soul’s longing to remain immersed in bliss
No more new age healing
no more mantras to chant or lamps to light
just brilliant existence
A moment experienced in totality is meditation
the fulfilment of the soul’s longing to remain immersed in bliss
No more new age healing
no more mantras to chant or lamps to light
just brilliant existence
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